Sunday, January 29, 2012

pick up the phone goddamit!


I never made it out to receive my share, or witness any ass welts.

I am either; a) still fucking suffering from the virus I caught 3 weeks ago, b) suffering from a different rat bastard virus, or c) going through withdrawal.

If I were trying to conceive a child, I'd say I have morning sickness.

All day.

The only child I'm raising is Papi, so, no, I'm not pregnant.

My money is on withdrawal.

There's a reason why I'm getting that crap out of my system.  It's bad for me.

So, I can imagine that it would be just as mean leaving my body as it has been while infiltrating it.

Instead, I spent the day on the phone.

That was pretty much my day.

It was good though!  I got to speak for 3 hours to My Gratitude Buddy.

We never really get to chat like that all too often.  Life is busy.  But it was a marathon chat.

What I've noticed about myself through that phone call was pretty interesting; I get very introverted at times.

no ... really ... it's true ...

It wasn't always like this, but after the brain injury, I found that I'm not as willing to engage in a conversation like I used to be.

Years ago, my down time was going through my phone and chatting up all the many friends I had.

I let that go after I had 5 minute memory.  It sucks being constantly told, "Yeah, you told me that already."

I retreated, and found that I didn't even want to pick up the phone when it was someone lovely, like my baby sister.  My baby sister and Papi are really the only people I pick up for no matter what.

When My Gratitude Buddy called, I didn't really know I was in need of a marathon call, but I was.

It felt so wonderful to just chat endlessly about nothing.

Well, not really nothing, I talked about fainting goats, green pigs, and Angry Birds.

My Gratitude Buddy laughed and said, "I never pegged you as a pig killer."

I had to remind her that they taunt me when I miss hitting them with the orange bird that puffs when you tap it.  This is enough ammunition to make me want to fly those little fuckers even faster.

Anyway, my point is, that I picked up the phone when it rang.

I chatted and it was lovely.

I got to bond a little more with My Gratitude Buddy.

I even picked up the phone a little later with the G'ma when my wonderful in laws called from Alberta.

... wait for it folks ... the G'ma returns in less than a month ... 

I realized that all I really need to do is pick up the phone when it rings.  You never know what's on the other end.

It could be good.

It could be rewarding.

It could be saying the same thing over and over again to a 96 year old, but it's still good, because it keeps me from isolating.

I think I'm going to make a new rule.  When the phone rings, I'm going to pick it up, even if I don't feel like talking.

Because apparently, that's my mind playing tricks on me.

And we all know that I need to stay one step ahead of my mind, lest that bitch tells me all sorts of lies.

the only mistake that can truly hurt you, is choosing to do nothing simply because you're too scare to make a mistake


  1. I love that your blog is always so real. I can tell that it's cathartic for you. The best stuff is always personal. thanks for writing.

    1. thanx rafa ... life's like that, ya know? get it out xo

  2. Well it's great to hear that you'r back chatting up! Nothing is more fun than useless banter and chat with good friends.
    Get well A, big hug for you!

    1. i know! it was good to just talk and talk and talk. it wasn't about too much, but the feeling of bonding with my buddy made it so wonderful.

  3. Hey, it's great you had that chat and it sounds like it did you the world of good. Yay for you, Andrea. :) x


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer