It's possible I'm thinking more of my love as the male Papi desires to be.
Mi esposo wants me to join the same gym. I don't like Papi's gym. I love MY gym, where I've been a patron for 15 years.
My gym is owned by a gay couple, and the clients are all very respectful, straight or not. Papi's gym is more of a pick up joint for the heteros.
I gave my love's gym a try yesterday.
In Papi's gym, men's eyes will peruse the room, creating fantasies of the women. I get extremely uncomfortable with those heterosexual dances in every corner.
seriously ... don't bother checking out MY ass ... you won't get the desired reaction, THIS i promise you.
Not to mention, when I go to the gym, I'm in ratty work out clothes with no make-up. I don't get dressed up for the gym. I don't feel comfortable in the glitz 'n glamour of this environment.
I'm there to sweat, not to look good. When I want competition in the gym, it's for how much weight I can push, not my attire.
However, what made me the MOST uncomfortable was when Papi followed me into the women's change room!
houston we have a problem. there's a tranny in the changeroom.
Papi is 'in between' right now. While my love worked out, people had their sheltered minds blown, wondering how there could possibly be a guy with breasts.
Mi esposo has never been intimidated by anyone. It's the other way around. Papi is quite tall with full sleeve tattoos that crawl up that gorgeous neck, and peek out along those strong hands.
People get uncomfortable until they hear words from my love.
Papi has a personality that is appealing to even the most conservative of folks. My love wins hearts in the most adverse places.
Yet, when it comes to the ladies room, women will give my love a hard time.
there's a man in the women's washroom!!!!!
I just look at them with the death pan stare.
don't you DARE say anything, or you'll have to deal with ME! the tattooed amazon is the least of your worries!
But this visit to the changroom?
I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I was so very uncomfortable that there was a half man who followed me in!
I realized at that point that there has been a shift in my thinking. An allowance of the thoughts that the 'wife' I married is no longer that.
So. Where does Papi fit in then?
Imagine if my love went into the men's room without those delightful breasts being bound?
I now slightly understand how my love feels. Those breasts are the culprit of not being that man Papi sees in the mind's eye.
This world needs a special place for the 'Papis' of the world. This world needs a trans washroom.
But when the courts in our neighbouring country have condoned the homophobic hatred of religious zealots who terrorize grieving families that have lost loved ones in a fight for their country, a trans washroom is not going to happen.
We still need to get past homophobia ... never mind transphobia.
This world is a fucked up place, and I suppose I don't help matters.