Denied Access!!

While we were out for the muddy walk with 2 of the four-leggers, I told Papi that there will be no more 'hiding' and running away in secrecy when the hormones are to be used.

Mi esposo is so respectful when there's no jester to be playing with.  Papi will use those nasty hormones and try to conceal it from me.

But I always know.

It's more stressful for me to pretend I don't know, than it is for me to have the information.  I think it will work out better if Papi just tells me, "I'm going to go do it now, so don't come in the bedroom."

Or whatever room happens to be the space for my love.

I guess I am healing and I am accepting.  I suppose this is how it works.

Whatever is going on, I felt so much more relief at saying those words to my love.  It felt like perhaps it was a moment of us walking on the same path.

Later on that night, my love came up to give me a goodnight kiss.  I saw it as my moment to pounce.

My version of pouncing is to 'hint' that perhaps I may want a little Papi time.

Mi esposo laughed and we went at it.  But, every once in a while we have the passion patrol to deal with.

The one eyed retriever.

Sometimes, I start getting a little Papi love and that crazy animal will bark at us.  It's not in a playful manner either.  It's serious!

We can't figure out if he thinks my love is hurting me or not.  There have been times that the 'hurt' is intentional and in a fun way.

The Golden doesn't like it.  He's terrified that Papi is hurting me without my consent and there's nothing we can do to calm him down.

Last night, when the lovin' was on the move, The Golden jumped on to the bed and sat on my legs with his back to us.  He was just staring at the wall.

When we didn't stop the good times, he moved over to Papi and tried sitting there.

Well, our laughing and loving kept moving right along and he finally left the room.

phew!  i can't have pillow lust with a furry staring at me!!!

Those kisses from my love are so addictive.  I don't know what it is.  Mi esposo's touch brings me to a place no other has ever taken me.  I can move with freedom knowing that those strong hands will always keep me hooked into their magic.

I felt the strength to explore the 5 Foot Clitoris.

Here it was!  The moment we've all been waiting for!!!!

Denied.

It just so happened it was one of those times that Papi doesn't want to be touched.

Goddamit!

First I almost cried.  I had a moment of paranoia.

papi doesn't desire me?!

My love said not to get any strange thoughts.  That I shouldn't be worried, "I just don't feel like it."

I trusted my love to tell me the truth.  I relaxed my brain, and went back to those enslaving kisses.

But damn!  Just when I thought I was brave enough to go exploring, I was denied access.

Guess I'll just have to try again.