Thursday, April 7, 2011

Brace Yourself

"Brace yourself, they're going to look really bad."

oh for fucks sakes ... really?!?!

Not the words I want to hear the moment I come to an assimilation of acceptance.  Maybe it just means that this is just one more moment of a 'step at a time'.

However, Papi's words got worse.

**sticks fingers in ears** la-la-la I don't hear you

"The nipples could die and I'd be without them like Anonymous."

We know someone who had their top surgery done and we've always wondered why he didn't have nipples grafted on after.

I think it's possible we now know why.

"My nipples are going to look worse than the rest of the area."

I honestly haven't said a word at this point.  I am still carrying on with my own imagination of just how bad it could get.

here we go again ... dear imagination: did you not learn from the 5 foot clitoris?

Then without skipping a beat, the gruesome twosome talk was over and switched to another topic, "Honey, I can't be in some dingy place it will make me more upset on top of the pain I'll be feeling from the surgery.  I've tried looking at two star places and even three star, but I just can't stay in one of those places to save money."

It's going to be an expensive venture, but Papi thinks that it's all going to work out, so I have to trust it all will too.

My love really hasn't had to learn about money.  The house we live in has been mi esposo's home since birth.  It's an upscale neighbourhood with upscale tastes.  Even still, my love's family wasn't as well off as the people around here, but somehow the idea that money does come from thin air is an attitude Papi has adopted.

I know I could stay in one of these places, but I also know that the moment my love started looking at this, that there would be no way it was going to happen.

I have to agree with my love a little, "Yes.  We really don't need you bringing home bedbugs and scabies."

So, now the bill has just gone up.  I'm still wearing Papi's 1 karat engagement ring, but I really feel that it must be parted with.

One thing I CAN say is, next year's holiday is NOT going to be as extravagant as we've been used to.  I am a wee bit stressed about the bills that will be mounting from braces, jaw surgery, my love's top surgery, paying off this year's holiday and the extras we paid for during our sewage flood restoration.

My head.

It hurts.

Along with my neck, my back is dying.

I have a lot to do today, and only so much energy.

I also have to 'brace myself' for Papi's scary top surgery.

Commence bracing ...


  1. Sleep. Rest. Your brain is tired.
    Soon, all trials will pass. Your body is starting to ache in all different parts. Breathe sweetie.
    Just keep breathing. The air is free. Hugs for you.

  2. yes my dear ... i agree ... 'this too shall pass' ... it always does.

    you're a great heart xo

  3. :) Keep up your spirits!
    What does an extravagant holiday matter? its about having fun! Cheap vacations are often more fun then expensive (because you then have a lot of money to spend on other stuff while on vacation!)

    NEVER throw away an engagement ring!

  4. i'm sure whatever papi and i do will be fun :)

    as for the ring, it is my love's and it won't be thrown if anything, it will be sold ... but we're trying hard to look at ways to get around it.

    i'm keeping mine ... don't you worry!


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer