Monday, August 8, 2011

Get over it.

"Your blog has been boring because it hasn't been about me.  But I guess that's ok, because it means you're getting better."

And within the same heartbeat I heard, "I think my nipples aren't healing properly, one doesn't look like the other.  I'm afraid the outer skin is not going to fall off and they'll look weird.  Hey, do I have ass hair?"

ass hair ... really?

Papi then proceeded to bend over wave the one eyed, stark white orb in my face.

"No, sweety, you don't have ass hair."

thank gawd!

When we were out the other day, someone mentioned that they'd like to have a camera and just follow us around.

The Papi & Andréa show.

I told her, "We already have that.  It's my blog."

There's plenty to go on about here.

I have issues, and I write about them.

Most people hide their contention out of embarrassment, but I prefer to let people know that if they have the same problems as I, then we are are no different and it's really ok to talk about it.

Rather; it's really important to talk about it.

Here's one that I need to deal with.


We're back at the pronoun dilemma folks.

Being a persnickety officer of grammar and spelling, when I hear that people don't want to be called 'he' or 'she', but prefer to be called 'they', I get uncomfortable.

It's not proper grammar.

'They' refers to 2 people, and transgender people are beings of The Third Gender.  So, unless someone has dual personality disorder, then this is only one person.

I cringe whenever Papi informs me that another butch has denounced their gender of female.

But here's the real problem; I get a look of disdain, or roll my eyes when I'm told a transgender would like to be referred to as 2 people.


So, I've been thinking about the question that Papi asked me, "What does it matter to you what they want to be referred to as?"


I don't know.

What does it matter to me?

Nobody is hurting anybody by asking to be referred to as 2 people.  It doesn't change the fact that someone is a nice person with a big heart, or, an ego-centric asshole.

It really doesn't matter.

So, I had to come up with a way to deal, or it will continue to be the same conversation with Papi over and over.  I wouldn't want that, because it could become too much of a debate in our relationship, and I prefer the communication and giggles we use to talk 'things' through.

Here's where I got to:  A transgender person really is dual gender.


2 genders.

Going through male or female transformation never really makes that person become a bio-male or bio-female, it really just helps someone have the 'appearance' of the gender they feel.

the dysphoria ... being unsettled with what they see in the mirror ... like my eating disorder ... who is that big girl in the mirror?



That makes someone indeed be 2 people.


Now I just have to convince the bratty fucking teenager in my head to get over it.

Wish me luck.


  1. Good luck =) Bratty fucking teenagers always understand (or at least try really hard to) in the end.
    and sorry, ass hair *shudders*

  2. LOL - The voice of my very strict high school English teacher still haunts me to this day. Out of respect for her - the only way I could refer to an individual as "they" would be if they had two heads. :D

  3. My bratty teenager takes over far more often than I'd care to admit. But, like you, I freely admit it. My blog isn't pretty, and it's generally a bit humiliating - but it's HONEST. That's what I feel about yours as well. :)

  4. @delilah, it's going to be work.

    @twister, i must be chanelling your very strict high schol English teacher

    @tricia, i believe it's why i love your blog so much. honesty is they best way to go ... and much more interesting lol!

  5. as a linguistics major, i fight the urge to be a prescriptivist constantly. and i know it's hard. but language is constantly changing. i have to tell myself this every day...but i still hate it.'s some news on the use of singular's not wrong.

  6. thank you owen :) i need all the help i can get to rewire my brain to see it as comfortable english :)

    will go NOW!

  7. also, the link within the link, to Geoff Pullum's article on Language Log is pretty good. he's one of my favourite grammarians. wow, i have a favourite grammarian. i am a total nerd bomber.

  8. i went to that link owen lol! i love language and i love discussion on grammar/spelling etc. i already knew i'm a nerd :)

  9. thank you owen ;-> You da bomb!


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