Wednesday, August 3, 2011

When I say 'jump' ...

Oh my gawd I can 'sorta' sit!

Just woke up from a morphine induced coma to find I'm feeling slightly better.

thank you baby jesus!!!

I know this is due to the appointment I had today.

I go to IMS (Inter Muscular Stimulation) for my back flare ups.  It helps so much.

My male dominatrix takes those hypo-allergenic pins thicker than acupuncturists' needles and forces them with twisting motions into my already ailing muscles.

"I'm not going to be nice to you today," he tells me.

Really?  Is this any different than any other visit?

When I first started going, he was only working on my neck that couldn't turn and was pretty much stuck in a permanent position.

He would stick those needles into my frozen neck and the tendons at the base of my skull.  I could hear the muscle reacting with crunching and ripping sounds from the needle pulling at my stiff, fibrous flesh.

The pain would shoot from the already debilitated area to the top of my head forcing my eyes to close, and the burn would course through my tendons and nerves down my arm.

After a few months, my neck finally got moving, and it was time to start on my back.

You see, the back took the side burner until my neck was calmed, but it has now been the forefront ever since.

He will twist those bad boys right into the sides of my ass cheeks and the pain feels like he's shot me with fire and ice, and simultaneously hit me with a baseball bat.

The high speed electrical discharge will shoot down my leg to my knee and my muscles will give an involuntary jump right off the table.

I don't blame them.

I don't know anyone else who would just sit there while a needle is pushed in and twisted.

I envision my muscles having been zapped with a miniature defibrillator when they helplessly bounce off the table.

But what comes next is so good.

When he removes the needle, it partially feels like he's pulling the fresh flesh through my skin and my muscles feel like they've just had an orgasm.  The endorphins zip through my body like a nimble bat in full speed until they reach my brain with an, "Ahhhh."

He will then move to my spine where he sticks them in so far, I swear he's scratching bone.

In this spot, I can hear the echo of the twisting muscle right up to my brain.  It's sound reverberates and my back will again involuntarily jolt.

If I'm a really bad girl, he'll leave the needles in and attach electrodes to them.

Muscles pump and jump, and eventually, my mind will just get used to the feeling.  I will become numb.

When he's done, he will very gently wipe the blood from my back and butt, then politely pull my pants back up over my ass.

"Ok my dear.  Come back when I can help you some more," he said today.  Normally, he'll tell me when to return, but I think we both know that I'm at a crossroads with this bitch of a back.

I limp out of the office feeling like I've been jumped by a street gang and beaten.  People always watch me leave, fearing for how they may be treated in their session.

Later on, there's always a bit of relief, as there is right now.

well, it was a good 10 minutes of sitting ... it's progress anyway ...

All I could ever wish for would be to have enough money to see my needling dominatrix every day.

It would allow me to live.

At least I have this moment, right here, where I don't feel the need to take pain meds.

This means I have enough of a brain to have a chat with 'you', my imaginary friend.

Thank you, oh master of pain.

Tonight will be a good night.


  1. Poor Andrea!!! That hurts my back just reading about it. I certainly hope you feel better soon. xoxo

  2. thanx twister ... crazy part is, the pain this doc inflicts on me makes me feel a bit better.

    however, i still can't sit :(

  3. You have so graphically described the pain. I can almost feel my muscles twitch and my bones tingle. I hope someday, you need not get through so much pain to feel better. Stay safe sweetie!

  4. it's my dream too psycho ... i'm just not sure that it will ever happen ... i'm pretty much accepting that this is it for me.

  5. That made my skin crawl. Before I had surgery on my leg I had a TENS machine - basically an electroshock machine for your muscles. I'd crank that baby up so high it looked like my Jell-o thigh was gonna blow from the vibrations.

  6. "pulling the fresh flesh through my skin" I twitched at that. This sounds cruel. I hope you get really better soon!

  7. @tricia, that's basically the same idea, only the needles are right inside the muscle ... crazy shit they come up with

    @delilah, it is cruel, but somehow it makes it feel a little better ... however, it only lasted until 10 minutes ago, now i'm back in agony :(

  8. dirty, it does sound horrible, but it's amazing how it will make me feel better temporarily!


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