Thursday, August 11, 2011


The Papirazzi is on full force today.

A very sweet reporter we met the other day just so happens to be doing an article on transgender people in the work force, and asked if my love would like to be interviewed.

Papi has been trying to get a date fixed with her to have this dialogue, but their schedules didn't really work out to do so.

This morning, however, I woke up to hearing my love on the phone with the reporter, answering questions about being transgendered from up to down and all around.

Papi said, "I don't know how personal you want to get about this, but other things happen, like the clit getting bigger."

I giggled while I prepared my Dominican Republic Coffee.

yes ... still some left ... almost out though ... maybe if i tap my heels 3 times, 'there's no place like home'

Then Papi yells out, "Hun, do you think it's gotten bigger than 5 centimeters?"

Oh great.

Don't drag me into this!

"It's bigger."

Papi chuffed to the reporter, "No, it's not.  Don't listen to her.  She has issues with it."

They started to talk about a penis, and my love said, "They don't make one that is like the real thing, so forget it, and besides, my wife would leave me."

ok. so we've got that down. phew.

Papi doing the interview made me proud.  Not that I wasn't already.

In the same realm that I've walked along side my love through this male transformation, Papi has also had to stand beside me in my conflict.

This also means defying the haters.  Those beings who have read about themselves here in my blog and decided to despise me for my honesty, instead of proving me wrong.

Those who bury under the blanket of protection of political ideals, then judge me for my openness about my strife.

Those who say to their followers, "Ok, so now we don't speak to Andréa anymore."

And those who heed the demands who can't think for themselves.


I looked to Papi's Facebook page, and under the 'things that inspire me' shout out, I found: My Wife.

For my love to blatantly propel the repugnance of those who resent me, by saying I am an inspiration, made all the pain float away.

For all the support I felt I was needing to give to the person going through male transformation, there is also a balance in our world of love.  The need to support the partner.

My love does this.

Then proceeds to wave the 5 Foot Clitoris at me, "It is not that big."

I answer, "It's huge."

"No it's not."

"It's huge," I repeated.  Then true to any debate in marriage, this mundane back and forth colloquy went on for a good 2 minutes.

"Are you ok with me having my picture in the paper?"

you have to ask a performing extrovert this?

"Of course!  Why wouldn't I be?!"

"Because if people who don't know see it, then they will know your spouse is going through a male transformation."

"That's ok.  It'll weed 'em out faster."




  1. If someone can't respect you for having the right to voice you feelings I say fuck'em. There is nothing wrong with voicing what you feel, and everything right with it. I am sure you are not the first or the last to go through this, and I think your truth and honesty will be invaluable to all those who can just NOT be what everyone else seems to think they should. It will show them that you don't have to be a "rah rah tranny" and still make it through to the other side.

  2. i believe it's why those before me were so silent. too afraid of the backlash ... they're right ... it is scary and it does hurt, but those before me need a voice. i refuse to be silenced by the hands of haters. their attempt in this makes me want to scream all the more louder.

  3. This is the post in which Andrea answered the question I have wanted to ask.

    Phew !

    As to the haters. Fuck 'em.
    We got your back.

  4. lmfao dirty!!!! you should've just asked ... it's not like any of my laundry is kept in the basket :)

    and it is because of my blogger trust list that i am able to crawl out of the pit of doom, and back to reality.

    fuck 'em indeed

  5. A close friend of mine is going through a transformation from male to female. I have a tiny insight into the misery that is heaped upon that poor soul for simply following through on a quest to live an authentic life.

    Haters be damned.

  6. Vee, one of the things i'm most grateful for, is that papi is supported and loved by so many for this transition.

    please tell your friend we're here for her.

  7. You know I love u guys. I never have much to say because I choose to just let what I read sink in. The things I learn from your blog are priceless because of how unique it is. Papi is very brave for admitting to himself that he was born into the wrong gender and he did something about it. You are brave because you supported him in spite of how the outward appearance of the soul you fell in love with would change. Never in my life have I encountered someone that can truly love someone else that much. I don't know how things are in Canada, but here in the USA, the ignorant and intolerant are front and center. Your gay marriage would have been illegal in most states and you would have been ostracized. The irony of this being that after all is said and done your marriage IS between a man and a woman and it would not have been so otherwise. You and Papi are like the bravest and strongest people I've ever known (I don't really know you, but you know what I mean). Where so many marriages fail for the most frivolous things, YOU guys actually HONORED your "for better or worse!"

    Much Love, always!

  8. rafa, i adore you ... thank you so much for your support. i really honour your friendship, albeit via www


  9. The dialogue with the reporter/writer was a little different then what you say baby!

    Ty Rafa you are soo sweet :->

  10. Now there she is - the Andrea I knew was buried somewhere behind the words of pain and conflict! I am so proud of you and Papi, for standing tall together and facing all the odds, and proving that after al has been said and done and said again, love still triumphs! You guys are inspiring, you both need to OWN that!

  11. @papi: it's my reality not yours. :) you need to have your own blog so you can correct me in cyberspace hehehe

    @psycho: thank you ... yeah ... she gets a little buried when the hurt teenager comes out to play. the teen needs a little time every once in a while to heal as well i suppose.

    i'm back.

  12. i don't think Easton needs his own blog. i like it when he hijacks yours!!

    also, you fucking blow my mind with your strength and conviction, Andrea. seriously. i look up to you.


  13. it is nice when i get to see papi's name here in my comments ... even if it is a bit of he said/she said.

    owen, i'm flattered ... strength comes and goes my friend ...


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer