Friday, August 5, 2011

Zap!

"Do you think my nipples look sexayyyy?" Papi asked with a tongue in cheek.

I was about to say, "No," but when my love heard the 'N', Papi seemed to be hurt.

I quickly turned the 'N' into, "N-n-not yet."

That seemed to work.

That also could very well be true.

Not yet.

Seems to be the essence of any journey really.

I've definitely learned that 'never' really isn't a healthy part of anybodies vocabulary.

Really!

If you're still using 'never', then you haven't lived enough to learn that there are better words to use.

I mean, I said I would 'never' be with an F-M.

Blammo!

I've been told by the cosmos that I have to change my vocabulary.

It's almost as if the moment we say 'never', some strange force creates a reason for us to be proven wrong.

It took me years to come out of the closet, because of my horridly religious family having their talons into my flesh.

Living around nuns will fuck you up big time.

But when I finally did, it felt like my life just started.  I would never have to go near bristly, immature facial hair.  I would never have to deal with that man stink.  I would never have to encounter chest hair during sexy time.

"Honey, I found something that I think you're not going to like."

Papi didn't have to tell me out loud.

I knew what it was, because my love had that chin resting as close to chest as possible, creating the quadruple chin, looking at what I thought was a soft, bare chest.

here comes the never

"I see 2 black hairs coming up."

Oh yay.

That looks to me like the end of snuggling to my love's chest.

It's no fun cuddling up to a chest while there's a brillo pad hair threatening to crawl into your nose.

My love has been grooming leg hair too.

I have to say it does look better.  I was really in fear of just how thick and long those bitches could get!!

Oh, there will be waxing in my love's future, even if I have to drug Papi and tie mi esposo to the bed.

hmmm ... this is sounding more fun by the second ...

Gawd!  I hope that the leg hair that has reared it's ugly head is not an indication of the possibility of chest and back hair.

I'll have a full time job waxing!!!

Maybe I should invest in an electrolysis machine?  That could be hours of fun too!

ZAP!

that one's for putting my cotton t-shirt in the dryer.

ZAP!

and that one's for letting Psycho Kitty down to beat the crap outta my cats.

Hmm ... I may have found a bundle of fun here ...

It's possible I may have fun being a Tranny Lover.

**enter evil laugh here**

7 comments:

  1. yeah, dude hair is disgusting, and I'm a dude!

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  2. yeah! what rafa said!

    at least papi's not adverse to getting rid of it ... we just have to figure out the best venture.

    i still say 'zap!'

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  3. which shirt did i ruin? You know I can't do laundry I ruin everything! All your shirts look like Barbie shirts anyways. You are sooooo tiny!

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  4. There's always laser hair removal.
    It's supposed to be permanent....

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  5. @papi, i neglected to put one of my t-shirts in the 'no dry' pile and you went on a laundry frenzy and did every load. yup. now it REALLY looks like a barbie T.

    @dirty, we will be exploring ALL options.

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  6. What I hate is that the older a man gets the more hairs are growing in different places and yuck!

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  7. ok gayle now you're making my brain work in overtime with the man hair situation!! lol!

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